SUBMIT

Love does bite. But it makes for some good reading.

Yes, it's true. This, right here, is our second annual LOVE BITES issue. Big love to the A-Team (even though you're no longer working on HYPERTEXT, you got us started): Mason Johnson, Ryan Sinon, Ilana Shabanov and Mary Beth Hoerner.

THE GREAT LAKES GOODS graciously allowed us to use the scary LOVE BITES illustration you see to your left. If you want kick-ass cards, seek them out at www.thegreatlakesgoods.com.

And thanks to our current staff: Noelle 'Fumes of Weirdness' Hufnagel and intern extraordinaire Emily 'I Can Do That' Roth.

Thanks, too, to our interns Ryan Buell and Allison Sobczak.

Thanks to everyone who submitted and thanks for reading.

Lots of thanks. Now sit down and enjoy Valentine's Day.

CONGRATULATIONS Patricia Ann McNair! "Temple of Air" wins The Chicago Writers Association Second Annual Book of the Year Award for traditional fiction. If you haven't read it, you really, really should. And if you haven't read our interview with Patty (HYPERVIEWS), you really, really should.

For a dose of common sense thought on women's health, read Ms.Fit Magazine (msfitmag.com or link below).

Read Robert Duffer and other articles about the changing roles of men and families at www.goodmenproject.com (link under DIGRESSIONS)

'Briefly Knocked Unconscious By A Low-Flying Duck' out now from Elephant Rock Books

'Cheeseland' by Randy Richardson from Eckhartz Press

By Cyn Vargas

I was told the other day that I should try writing a funny story. My stories are so serious. A man going blind, a couple that can’t have children, a girl who gets picked on in school cause she’s a nerd. Not anything you would spit your milk/beer/soda out of your mouth for or more painfully through your nostrils, I know. I don’t know why I don’t write comedy. I love funny stories. I just don’t know if I’m capable of writing one, however I’ve never really tried, I guess. When I write I just get into a zone. I write for hours at a time whenever I can get that block of time from life and I write whatever I see. I did one day write about a clown getting hit by a train. I don’t like clowns, so I thought it was funny, but I guess it wasn’t really. Needless to say, that story was squashed. My thesis is a short story collection with no linking characters or place like ten pieces from ten different puzzles thrown into a box. I want my reader to see the story just enough so, that when the story is done, my characters continue living and they can see the whole puzzle. Man, that was corny. The older I get the sappier I become. Anyway, looking at what stories I have written so far, none are rolling-on-the-floor-slapping-your-knee-till-it-hurts-losing-your-breath-and-gasping-for-air funny. I don’t know why. I can’t force myself to sit there and write something hilarious, but maybe my thesis needs it. A little variety. A little Comedy Central in the mist of the Documentary Channel, HBO, and Animal Planet (no animals were harmed in any of my stories). So, how do I start? I actually had a story idea pop into my head this morning about a man who pretends to be blind, so he can take his dog with him everywhere he goes because he has separation anxiety (the man, not the dog). That’s funny, no? It’s actually sad, really. Anyway, did you hear the one about the Mayan girl who’s working on her thesis and dreams about making it as a writer one day, so she doesn’t have to sit behind a desk and take orders and be nice to people she doesn’t like? Now, there’s a funny story for you.

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